How to long game

No AI, no lengthy edits, just a single-shot on a Sunday morning.

In a flow state with the void #

I’ve been in LA this week, an experience that always has me staring into the void. In LA you’re on an island physically and mentally. A deep gaze inward, with nothing to distract you from how you actually feel about yourself. The start of the week (a Scorpio eclipse) was an inner spiral as I let the LA void and an empty hotel room tear apart every assumption I had about myself and my work. A pitiful sight. But ultimately the void did its thing. I got so frustrated I wrote a manifesto to myself — and it pulled me out.

The long game is the only game#

I realized I was getting frustrated by very now things: feeling mad at myself for an email exchange I screwed up. Wanting more attention for something I’d done. Worrying whether my projects would succeed. But the void-state helped me see that my field of perception was wrong. I wasn’t seeing the real picture. So I opened a Google doc, turned on caps lock (more on that in a second), and a host of wisdom emptied out. Here’s what I wrote in a single take:

HOW TO LONG GAME

1. THERE IS NO SHORT GAME, ONLY LONG GAME. SHORT GAME IS TOURISM. LONG GAME IS LIVING THERE.

2. THE LONG GAME IS ABOUT BUILDING YOUR OWN GAME. ANY PRIZES THAT ALREADY EXIST ARE SHORT GAME CROWNS. WIN BY BUILDING YOUR OWN GAME.

3. THE LONG GAME IS LONG. YOU WILL BE TEMPTED TO ACCELERATE THE LONG GAME WITH MORE RESOURCES. THIS IS MIXING SHORT GAME THINKING WITH LONG GAME GOALS. BEWARE.

4. THE LONG GAME IS NOT FOR EVERYONE. IT’S THE GROWN UP VERSION OF THE MARSHMALLOW TEST. YOU NEED THE RIGHT MENTALITY AND APPROACH TO PLAY.

5. THE LONG GAME IS ABOUT CONFIDENCE. YOU HAVE TO WILLINGLY LIVE IN A TRUTH THAT’S NOT CERTAIN, YET OPERATE WITH THE FAITH THAT IT WILL BE. THIS WILL BE A CONSTANT PRESSURE YOU MUST BEFRIEND/TOLERATE.

6. THE LONG GAME = THESIS + MINDSET. LONG GAMING WITH A RIGID PLAN IS DIFFICULT BECAUSE THERE ARE TOO MANY VARIABLES. A THESIS (SOMETHING YOU UNIQUELY BELIEVE TO BE TRUE) PLUS A LONG-TERM MINDSET (DETERMINATION TO WILL SOMETHING INTO EXISTENCE) IS REQUIRED.

7. THE DESTINATION MUST BE WORTH THE JOURNEY. THERE WILL BE LONG PERIODS WITHOUT FEEDBACK, AND, IN FACT, NEGATIVE FEEDBACK (THINK CHRISTIAN BALE IN “THE BIG SHORT”). THE LONG GAME OUTCOME MUST BE WORTH THE SHORT TERM CHALLENGE AND PAIN.

8. THERE IS ONLY LONG GAME. REAL CHANGE, REAL INFLUENCE, REAL IMPACT ONLY HAPPEN OVER TIME. THE LONG GAME IS THE ONLY GAME WORTH PLAYING.

The effect of writing and expressing this was immediate. I'd been feeling bad trying to win somebody else’s game. The truth is I’m trying to start a new one.

Caps lock is an unlock#

Whenever I need to see truth, I turn on caps lock and start writing to myself. Not joking. Once caps lock goes on there’s no opportunity for equivocation. It’s pure unfiltered truth. It's a miraculous thing. Suddenly an entirely different voice and mode of behavior gets revealed through a choice of typeface. What other truths and ways of seeing are hidden away in our minds? I think of the research my friend Nadia Asparouhova has done on the jhanas, a type of meditation, or the things my wife learns through lucid dreaming. What else can be unlocked?

Neo-rationalism#

It’s not just internal either. We're in a period where ideas and beliefs that were previously fringe are becoming rational thought. This is more than a shift of the Overton Window. We are collectively accepting that the boundaries of rational reality need to be redefined. UFOs and alien life. Telepathy. Longevity studies. The RFK universe. Ideas once dismissed as conspiracies are now part of the mainstream conversation. Later this year I’ll publish a piece that explains how I believe astrology is a rationally true source of information. The spectrum of what gets classified as rational is dramatically expanding in a way unlike anything I’ve seen in my lifetime. I’m excited by it.

A clear conscience#

At my worst my head overflows with wants, desires, and nodes of attention and feedback that call my name. A state of being where I feel helpless but is entirely within my control. The start of my void spiral was this — in full zombie mode. I energetically consumed myself and everything around me without joy or feeling. Yet once I pulled myself out with the Long Game view, there was a greater sense of clarity and inner calm than I’d felt in weeks. 

When I tried looking inside myself to see why (this is the kind of thing I do for entertainment, btw), it was obvious: the void tore down the facades I’d made for myself. I’d lost confidence in them. I no longer believed in them. But in the wake of that destruction, I began to rebuild a new foundation based on what I could actually trust. There were things I believed when I was at my highest. But what things did I know to be true even at my lowest? This became my new foundation.

As I stepped out the rest of the week with that shift in inner structure, I felt a clear conscience. A sense that I’m showing up in a truthful way in integrity with myself. When we’re in this place, we’re not bending attention towards ourselves or trying to become the main character. We accept ourselves as a slice of a larger picture. No more or less important than any other, and no less wonderful for it either.

When we see things this clearly, the awe of what it all adds up to really hits.